The Hidden Mental Load of Motherhood: Why Mums Are Exhausted Before the Day Even Begins

Before I became a mum, I thought exhaustion would come from sleepless nights and constant feeds. I expected the physical tiredness, the broken sleep, the long days with a newborn. But what I didn’t expect was the mental exhaustion—the endless list of things to remember, plan, organise, and worry about.

The moment I became a mum, I realised something: motherhood is a full-time mental job before you even get to the physical work of actually caring for your child.

It’s the tiny, invisible tasks that no one really talks about:

🧠 Remembering to pack a snack, a change of clothes, and nappies before you leave the house.

🧠 Booking doctor’s appointments, tracking vaccinations, and remembering to collect prescriptions.

🧠 Noticing when the baby is outgrowing their clothes and mentally adding “buy the next size up” to the never-ending to-do list.

🧠 Planning meals, making shopping lists, and figuring out who will eat what and when.

🧠 Checking in on friends, arranging playdates, sending birthday cards, and making sure no one feels forgotten.

And this is all before we even start on work, relationships, self-care, or—God forbid—finding time to rest.

The Mental Load is Real—And It’s Heavy

The “mental load” is something almost every mum I’ve met talks about. It’s this invisible weight we carry—the ongoing, never-ending responsibility of keeping everything running smoothly for everyone around us.

And it’s exhausting.

A study in the Journal of Family Psychology found that women are significantly more likely than men to carry the cognitive and emotional burden of household management and parenting responsibilities (Smith et al., 2021).

The problem isn’t that partners don’t help—it’s that mums are often the ones managing it all in their heads, even when others contribute.

For example:

📌 Your partner might cook dinner—but who planned the meal, checked the fridge, wrote the shopping list, and remembered to defrost the chicken?

📌 They might take the kids to a birthday party—but who RSVPed, bought the gift, wrapped it, and checked the party times?

📌 They might help with bedtime—but who noticed the nappy supply was running low and added it to the next shop?

It’s not just about doing the tasks—it’s about carrying the constant mental checklist of what needs to be done.

How the Mental Load Affects Mothers’ Well-Being

I see it every day—the impact this invisible workload has on mums.

It leads to:

😞 Overwhelm—feeling like there’s never enough time to get through the to-do list.

😞 Guilt—because no matter how much we do, it never feels like “enough.”

😞 Exhaustion—not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too.

😞 Resentment—towards partners, family, or society for not recognising how much we’re holding.

One mum recently told me: “I’m constantly tired, but I can’t even figure out why. It’s not just the sleepless nights—it’s the fact that my brain never stops.”

And that’s the truth. The mental load means our minds are always “on”—even when we’re supposed to be resting.

How Nest Glasgow Helps Lighten the Load

I didn’t create Nest Glasgow just to be another mum-and-baby space. I created it to be a place where mums could breathe—a place where, for a little while, they could set down that invisible mental load and just be.

Here’s how we help:

✅ A space where you don’t have to plan. You can walk in, knowing you don’t need to schedule, prepare, or organise anything—just show up and let us take care of the rest.

✅ Movement that helps reset your mind. Whether it’s yoga, pilates, or breathwork, moving your body helps quiet the overthinking and ease the overwhelm.

✅ Conversations with other mums who get it. There’s something powerful about being around women who understand the mental load—it reminds us that we’re not alone in carrying it.

✅ Encouraging partners to step up. Many of our workshops and discussions are about redistributing the mental load—not just accepting it as a “mum’s job.”

One of the biggest things I’ve learned?

We can’t do it all alone, and we shouldn’t have to.

It’s Time to Start Talking About the Mental Load

For too long, the mental load has been invisible. It’s expected, accepted, and brushed aside as just “part of motherhood.”

But it’s not normal to feel constantly overwhelmed. It’s not okay for mums to carry all the responsibility. And it’s not fair that so many of us feel like we’re failing when we’re actually doing more than we should ever have to.

So what needs to change?

• Recognising the mental load as real, emotional labour.

• Encouraging open conversations with partners, families, and workplaces.

• Redefining what “sharing the load” actually means—it’s not just doing the task, it’s managing the responsibility too.

And most importantly—we, as mothers, need spaces where we can let go of the weight, even for just a little while.

You Don’t Have to Carry It All Alone

If you’re reading this and thinking, this is me, I want you to know—you’re not alone.

And more than that? You don’t have to keep carrying this weight by yourself.

At Nest Glasgow, we’re building something different. A space where mums can step away from the mental overload, find real connection, and feel supported in every part of motherhood—not just the baby stuff.

So if you’re feeling the weight of the mental load? Come in, take a deep breath, and let’s figure it out together.

Because motherhood was never meant to be lonely.

Need a Moment for Yourself? We’ve Got You—Join Nest Today.

Nest Glasgow is a family-friendly wellness and co-working studio designed specifically for pregnancy, postnatal recovery, and motherhood support. We offer baby-friendly fitness classes, including postnatal yoga, pregnancy yoga, and mum-and-baby movement, so mums can focus on their well-being without needing childcare. Nest is more than just a mum and baby class—it’s a welcoming space for maternal mental health, community, and connection, where mothers can meet others, share experiences, and feel supported through the challenges of early motherhood. Alongside movement and well-being classes, we provide co-working sessions, giving mums the space to work, focus, and collaborate. With expert-led sessions in prenatal and postnatal care, Nest takes a holistic approach to women’s health after birth, helping mums rebuild strength, reduce stress, and find their village. Whether you're looking for postnatal exercise, mum meet-ups in Glasgow, co-working spaces for parents, or a relaxing space to recharge with your baby, Nest is here to support you every step of the way.